I was able to read for a bit today and was glad to have that time, with the past few months being almost hellacious. I apologize for not writing up here, there has been a lot going on and it is unfortunate not the type of stuff to talk about on a blog. After SXSW and WMCS I will need a vacation for sure... I hear Antratica is great this time of year?

No I think I would like to go to a desolate beach, a few key instruments for creation, afew sold music albums (Washed Out, Flying Lotus, Deloreans, Neon Indian, MasterTapes, Toro Y moi, She and Him, Kat Edmundson, and some new deep house) and sit in the sun, tan, and relax, not think of anything, and surf, and walk up and down the beach, and read a bit.

So if anyone has a beach house let me know :)...

I hope everyone is doing well, and am excited there is a lot of new music coming out soon, but I'm not pushing it, iT WILL HAPPEN WHEN IT HAPPENS... :)

It has been two months since my last blog to the public. Unfortunately, I have been super busy  and super lazy witht he time I have not had to work. I apologize profusely and hope to write more often.

So its now Feb 9th, and I wonder how many people have broken their NY Resolutions....

I particularly don't like making them, but this year have two I am trying to do, and so far so good.Its hard to break bad habits, period.

I have thought about, however, how important it is to many people that they conitnue to grow and MATURE in life. This is a good and bad situation. Good, because we are able to progress, and become more of who we want to be... BAD, because we often lose important parts of ourselves.

I know I think a lot about balance, and I'm not some crazy karma, feng shui, mantra this or that... blah blah thinker. I've simply found that not being commital to the extreme sides of two views is usually the best view. Why? 1.) Extremism often breeds hatred 2.) Its often BIASED and WRONG 3.) In the middle isn't compromise, it isn't non-commitment, its simply seeking to understand and finding practical ways of comparison. 4.) THE GOLDEN MEAN!

This is where I'm at stuck in the middle with you....

iTs nice, and it does push for change....

2bad habits, almost gone gimme a few more weeks!!!!!!!and I'll just go stretch out at the park close to hear... pull my arms out, my legs out, and let the funky grass just tickle me... while I know I'm alive

I was in a clothing store yesterday, and saw an assortment of Guitar Hero, DJ Hero, and Rock Band t-shirts.

I admit I was a little frustrated. In high school everyone wanted to be in a band- in college, bands were wanting to make it big.... now people are playing games to music?

I have mixed feelings. I think it is a great way to spread music, but is it also spreading a false reality?

Do people feel like they are actually on stage playing?.... and yes I know many people just enjoy it as a game... but with media consistently putting out games that are becoming more realistic, people can actually live the life they aren't really living... and isn't that settling instead of pursuing dreams? Isn't is a false form of fulfillment?

I haven't made up my mind on this subject completely, but my worry is that instead of developing creative art through music or even pursuing dreams, these games are stifling reality.

That worries me... a lot.

Some gamers play their games more than they interact with the world.  Music games have people pushing buttons rather than actually learning the instrument.

Its scary to think of the later effects that could possibly have on music...

but maybe I'm wrong.... maybe it helps, but I think the evidence is leaning to the contrary.

The frustration is simple: why live your life in a life that isn't real? WHy not make your life real? WHy not really live with the passion of pursuit towards the dreams that change the very existence of the world...

Rome is burning, and I'm sitting stolid, sipping coffee, wondering what to do next. All of us crying out in desperation for someone to look into our attic windows and sift the cobwebs of our lives. We linger in the corners of the rare spectacular minds thinking we had thought the same thoughts.

The aggravated assassins of our inclusive appreciation linger so subtley and wait for those precious moments to steal us away from ourselves. They botox our words, rejuvinate our appearance, hydroxy our lives, while killing small little bits ouf our souls.

All the while, Rome is burning, it caught fire from  the very lie it told to create itself, and some sense of apocalypse is around the corner, smoking with the assassins, laughing to itself, because it knows it will catch us by surprise. Oh the grimace it would make. The beady eyes, Rolled eyebrows. Snarled lip. Yellow teeth.

We protest the protesting and beg our side not to think or listen too much, but to act diligently and do whatever it takes to preserve the very skin we are suppose to loath, to shed.

All of Rome is worth hating and loving.

All of Rome is worth anger and tears.

All of Rome makes something so valuble that is completely free.

and our little moans of desperation that we prefer to elongate long enough for someone to hear, keep us in the fire. There we are, burning up with Rome, watching the flames engulf and swallow the very walls of that we though was protecting us. Now they are the cage. Rome is burning, and we cannot leave, instead we watch as if it were frieworks. Our hearts quicken an eyes dialate.

I am inspired by a lot.

I am passionate, driven, and quite a visionary.. I'm also extremely logical.

My problem is enactment.

I stay passionate, but am so passionate I forget to do or follow through the very things I am passionate about. This is a hard acknowledgement, because I often believe I don't truly know something, unless I am actively participating in the belief through my lifestyle. Which would make me a hypocrite much of the time. Time, isn't time the culprit here. That sly fellow arriving too early, and never stays late.

Where does the time go?

I would love to help.... if only I had time..... (my universal excuse)

Let me give money.... since I don't have time (my other excuse)

I imagine many relate to me and this predicament. We never show up on time, we let go of commitments when we shouldn't and even if professionally we do, we let things go then personally.

This has been an important change in my life: Putting myself where my heart is, and where my mouth is....

(To be continued),..